Sunday, May 23, 2021

FIRST EVENING ON THE BOAT 2021

FIRST EVENING ON THE BOAT 2021

Copyright 2021 by Lori-Ann Willey

Though still aching from a hard fall over the trailer tongue, I insisted we stick with our plans to spend the evening upon the boat.  It is a warm day with light winds that helped to create waves quite daunting for my injured torso.  We agreed that we’d anchor where there were no biting insects of the blackfly or mosquito kind, and where the waves were less bouncy.  I had used Paul’s stairlift to the dock to help me “carry” stuff down to the boat. Boy!  Was I ever thankful for that neat rig!

Once upon the boat, my “job” is simple.  I unhook from the dock and give us a push.  Today, that push was nothing but a nudge from the dock versus my typical, “lemme see how far my leg will stretch without falling into the water”.  Yup, Something I’ve always done.  Not sure why, especially, with the winds blowing away from the dock, there was no need to do anything but step onto the boat.

My other “job” is to drop and pull up the anchor, ready the fishing poles, and snap photos from my comfy custom-made chair of the Paul Willey design.  Due to a problematic back and the jarring of the waves at times, my sit upon the boat must be catering or I end up laying on the bench instead.

Paul rode the waves, so it was a gentle ride for us both.  We ended up dropping anchor in an inlet just far enough from the shore to avoid the bugs.  I put a red and white dardevle on my pole and gave my first cast of the season.  My hope was a decent white perch, but I’d take a pickerel for a recipe of the hydrolysate kind – garden fertilizer.  In that spot, if there was no strike or fish within the first 10 minutes, it was too early for them to be there.  I had not a nibble.

After setting my pole aside, I marveled at our surroundings – quiet as a mouse.  Millions of trees, but not a squeak heard.  Ah!  My kind of Heaven on Earth.  After tending to the meal on the grill, Paul picked up my pole and cast a few times, but he came up empty-handed, too.  He agreed with me, “Still a bit early”. 

The jagged shoreline showed promise of the brilliant pink coloring of the Rhodora shrubbery kind.  Here and there a spot of pink, but mostly, that dull muddy pink color of buds waiting to open for full exposure, where the large gray granite boulders interrupted the Rhodora-lined shoreline.  “Glacial deposits,” I said to myself.  We were but a few days too early to see the pink flowers in full bloom.  The many logs along the shoreline are always fun to look at as they take on a personality of their own, and of course, I always “humanize” them when I can.  Fun stuff.

Here, the softwood and hardwood trees mixed and mingled.  They are one forest living together in perfect harmony.  We humans can learn a lot from nature, but no.  Most are too busy to look past their own nose or think beyond their own thoughts.  It is a shame, really, how much of the real world is passed by without being recognized, seen, or missed.  The new, young leaves of the maple, birch, alders, beech, and poplar species are still a bright, light-colored green that is in vast contrast to the deep, dark, forest green of the many pines, fir, cedar, spruce, and hemlock.  Then, there is my favorite softwood, the tamarack tree that is lighter in color and distinguished from the cedar in shape, but at a distance, their coloration is nearly the same.

One always hopes to see a deer, bear, or moose, however, none were seen today.  We did see a few eagles soaring with one that was chased by a smaller bird who apparently felt threatened and feared for the safety of nesting eggs or young chicks on one of the islands.  We were greeted by a few seagulls, but none were our “Rainbow” or “Deux”.  We saw a few loons briefly surface both near and far, but they remained silent.

After a while, the waves picked up at our location, so I pulled anchor, being very thankful we have a capstan that did all the work for me so as not to feel my injury pulling it up hand over hand until it rested upon the floor of the boat.  Phew!  By the time we ducked behind an island, our suppah was ready to eat – ribs, potatoes, and Pak Choy did the bodies right!

Not long after eating while soaking in the view around us, we slowly made our way toward camp.  What a beautiful evening had.

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Monday, May 3, 2021

FLS: FINICKY LITTLE SHIT (1 YEAR LATER C19)

FLS: Finicky Little Shit (1 year later C19)
Copyright 2021 by Lori-Ann Willey

ORIGINAL NOTE:   https://www.fa
cebook.com/notes/10224164434679714/

This past year and a half have been a blur to the entire world, but none more so than by those who suffered the loss of loved ones to Covid-19, or to those who were so extremely sick for weeks and months on end.  This is not to leave out those who have “long haul” C19 symptoms.  This does not diminish the struggles of us all throughout the world -a change of life that happened overnight, and to this day as I sit here in a hospital with Paul while he receives his monthly infusion.  We sit here for hours on end wearing masks as mandated.

Today marks the day that I published my SNL – Sneaky Little Shit as a Facebook a year ago.  The Note that gained worldwide attention and for me to become a subject in a Covid-19 study to learn more.  Did I have C19?  I think I did and so did the research team that interviewed me for over 1 ½ hours, who took my “journal” and used it, for all those who read it and thanked me for writing it.  It’s been an exceptionally long haul.

Only after my body started to feel better was when it “hit” me like a ton of bricks just how sick I was and for so long.  Honestly, I felt like I had mild PTSD due to it all.  I know that may sound crazy, but it was truly how I felt.  Though I was very weak, pacing myself, slowly (ever-so) I gained strength over time.  My endurance also grew.  My “PTSD” only lasted for about three weeks.  Thankfully.

Though I struggled from Jan-April 2020 and though every questionnaire I took told me to go straight to the Emergency Room without delay for immediate attention, I didn’t.  I did not once think my life was near its end despite the exhausting struggle for each breath or the sheer exhaustion to walk across a small room, never mind simply sitting in a chair and trying to stay upright either.  However, once my body decided it was time to heal, I knew I was not going to have yet another setback.  My body knew it, too.  I thank Mr. Sun for that.  You know that bright-bright orb in the sky?

Come about the end of March 2021, it was like my body went into an emotional memory recall to when it struggled the most.  I tried to write a blog and I couldn’t.   As I prepared to write a bit in a book that I’m working on our lifestyle, I skimmed through my garden 2020 folder and I sat weeping, “How in the hell did I do all that while so weak?”  I asked that of myself, but I already knew the answer.  “I had to.”  It was my way of fighting back.  That sun was important to my body.  It reacted to it.  It craved it, and I gave it as much as I could.

Our return to camp was a slow one.  It took us forever to pack and unpack.  Just to walk from the camp to my garden beds was slow. I had to keep stopping to rest.  It took me forever to do anything, yet each day I felt stronger.  Just as my mind knew, my body knew my setbacks were over with for good, but that didn’t stop my body from screaming at me.  Every time I tried to push through, the fatigue found me wondering why and how I was still standing or even able to sit before passing out.  Many times, my eyes went black.  Sometimes, I fell and found myself on the ground.  Other times, I was able to clumsily plop before I landed on the ground otherwise.  Each time, my stomach felt lodged in my throat and I found myself unable to call out.  There were times when I just laid on the ground and hoped I’d stay “with it” enough not to pass out. All resulted because I continued working only a few seconds past the point when my body told me to stop and rest.  Call me a bit stubborn, and you are right 100%.  At the same time, I felt the need to push the limits, too.

A YEAR LATER

A few days ago, as I walked around the camp yard, I saw all that I was able to do last summer while trying to gain my strength and stamina. The year before, I measured my weeks in a percentage rating of full recovery until I felt 100%.  Each time I felt I reached 100%, the following week told me I hadn’t because I claimed that week 100%, too.  Finally, I concluded that I had been sicker than I thought all along and each % seemed like 100% achieved. 

The other day, as I walked along two large Hügelkultur beds that I made last summer, I became emotional yet again.  I stopped and found it difficult to believe I made them while still so weak.  Making them is a daunting task for any ambitious person, but while still recovering?  I had gone through the woods and dragged trees to that location before puzzling them together to make the garden bed.  Two of the logs, I had to use the truck and tow strap and dragged those in place, just because I did not have the strength to move them otherwise. 

Then, I walked along the longest Hügelkultur bed and though those logs were smaller in diameter, I had lugged and dragged a few hundred downed trees to make that bed, too.  That was a lot of work, but those trees were smaller so though many more trees, the task was easier by far…despite dragging them through the woods to get them there. 

Each log, no matter the size, was important to me.  It was important to my heart, mind, and soul. Each tree meant building not only a garden bed but building up every part of me as well.  I was recovering and the more work I did, the more logs I dragged, carried, cut up meant building me back up to where I was the year before.  It was important…each log was important.  It was me fighting back with more determination than I had ever known in my life.   It was a long, hard struggle in many ways, both physically and emotionally that even now, writing this, I’ve had to wipe tears away twice now. 

By summer’s end, I felt as if my strength and stamina had returned fully.  The only glitch I still had was a few minutes of a trembling heart after I rested from doing physical work.  That lasted right up until November.  November is when my foggy brain left me, too.  I was finally able to think beyond my nose, problem-solve, and write …. I could finally write again! 

A switch turned on at the same time the trembling heart went away.  It wasn’t long after that, that my creativity returned, as did my think-ability.  I spent the next few months reworking my books into a different program so they could be distributed worldwide.  My brain had turned on and I was anxious to make up for lost time. 

During this entire process, I’ve known personally of a few deaths due to C19 to include the spouses of a few friends, parents of friends, and of my own aunt and uncle who succumbed to the awful virus.  It has been a hell of a year and a half.  

Honest and truly, I feel that I am a survivor of C19, though I was not tested, nor was I confirmed that I had it via antibody tests, I strongly-strongly feel that I did.  I’d say that I’d bet my life on it, but I won’t, because one’s life is not bet-on-able.  Though I’m not a superstitious person, I simply appreciate where I am today and how far I’ve come, and I am so very thankful.

Recently Paul and I received our second Moderna shots.  I know some who opt against them, but I had to.  If I can prevent from getting that sick again, I’ll be first in line to get more if needed …. annually, even.  This from someone who rarely got her flu shots.  I think the only time I did was when I worked within the school system and one other time via the VA for Paul’s health.  For C19, “Ima-Believer” in that one.  Yup. 

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